I remember my wedding.
I remember walking down the aisle, the vows that were said. I ate and drank at my cocktail hour, I sat through my whole supper. I chatted with people and danced and while I feel the night blew by, I have loads of precious brain snapshots of each and every moment. We even were sober (me) enough and awake (him) enough to “seal the deal” as it where…
Not all brides can say that. Most (I hear) say its a blur. They barely remember the ceremony, had to take gobs of photos, never sat down, barely ate and feel like they didn’t get around to everyone, and at the end of the night choose sleep over sex, my own sister included!
Our wedding was just how we planned it, an awesome party where we just happened to get hitched. There was no craziness, no drama (that I heard of, outside of getting me into my dress, took half an hour! That’s what happens when no one dressing you can attend any fittings), and nothing felt rushed or blurred.
What made our wedding sane:
- We kept it small. Only inviting people we actually know and like. No extended family, no work colleagues. Only close family and people whom we genuinely qualify as friends. And since we put up the cash (see sanity item #2), our parents had no say in what went on or whom we invited.
- We paid for it ourselves. Yes, I know this may seem like it added more stress (especially when ever I opened my credit card, talk about cardiac arrest), but outside of actual payments it helped. Paying for it made us prioritize. With what we wanted, our wedding day goals, what we wanted to remember and what really wasn’t important. Am I going to remember that I had no professional flower arrangements and didn’t hire a florist? No. (though I will remember that I carefully made my own bouquet and saved it).
- We hired vendors we LIKED, and GOT ALONG WITH. And who where interested in helping us get to our goals and not their own agenda.
- We didn’t DIY things we couldn’t. Now I know this seems like a nothing since I did indeed DIY over half my wedding… BUT, not all. I CAN sew, but I wasn’t going to stress myself out by making my dress, I wasn’t even interested in adjusting my veil, I asked the seamstress to do it, so it would be done right and stress free. I am a fantastic cook, BUT I sure as hell wasn’t going to prepare my wedding food, not even the food for my husband’s surprise birthday party the next day, we ordered pizza.
- We let people be in charge of themselves. Since most were traveling and our group was small we cut out things we may have LIKED to have, but found it could cause more trouble than good. Like; ushers, bridal parties, sitting on “bride” or “groom” sides, seating charts during dinner (family style seating and people could get their own asses in seats, negating ANY drama my MIL might have cause by her inability to “sit near Dennis (ex husband), or the speakers, or the bathroom, …” or whatever), transportation and when to leave.
- We did first look and pictures before the ceremony. While we are both very outgoing in groups, it turns out we both like to keep private moments private and don’t wish an audience. We also wanted to be a part of our party and not miss out on seeing people to sneak away for photos.
- We did NOT WRITE OUR OWN VOWS. Don’t get me wrong, I get amazing love letters from the hubs (and he from me I might add), but again, we both get intimidated being intimate in front of others and I personally have massive stage fright, so we just wanted to pick something lovely and be able to repeat it.
This is just the tip of the Sanity Iceburg, but let me say, well worth it.
